


Hearts Are Fickle Things

by thehiddenhero



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual Smut, IT GETS HAPPY AGAIN I SWEAR, LOTS of Family Fluff, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, bard is a bit of a butt, bardlings and lego are super cute, but we love him still, he'll be okay i swear, hospital tw, i feel really bad for thranduil guys, kid! legolas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-14 12:20:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4564458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehiddenhero/pseuds/thehiddenhero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mistaking his feelings for something else, Bard breaks off his relationship with Thranduil. What happens when he realizes his love was true?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The moment that the words fell from the other man’s lips, quickly followed by bumbling apologies, Thranduil felt his heart shatter into a million icy shards in his chest. It was foolish, really. How could he possibly have thought that he, Thranduil Oropherion, a man burdened with a life of constant tragedy, deserved to find happiness in the love of another? He was doomed to live a life of solitude- weren’t those his father’s dying words? He never should have let his guard down, never should have let Bard in, or allowed himself to think that he was good enough to be loved.  
He was never enough.

“I- I’m so, so sorry, Thran…” Bard said quietly, his voice cracking and breaking as if he were the one who had their heart destroyed. “I just… I couldn’t keep lying to you. I can’t help how I feel. It wasn’t fair to you. I’m so, so sorry.”

An uneasy numbness descended over Thranduil’s body, the same feeling that overcame him the day that his wife had taken her last shallow breaths on this earth, leaving him terrified and alone with an infant son all those years ago. For so many years it had just been Thranduil and his son, and though they had each other and loved each other above all else, Thranduil yearned for the love of another, a mate to make his life complete once more, and to give Legolas the chance at having a relatively normal childhood. He had met Bard and his beautiful children, to which Legolas had a strong bond with almost immediately. It had taken some time, but Thranduil eventually let Bard in, letting him break down the walls he had built up brick by brick.

That was a mistake. He was never enough.

He nodded as he listened to Bard babble, his pointless apologies falling upon deaf ears as the blond man turned around, scanning the room for anything of note that he had left at Bard’s house- a house that he would not be returning to ever again.

“Thran, please. Talk to me. Don’t walk away-“

“And why not?!” Thranduil screamed, his voice echoing from the walls and sounding much harsher than he had intended. He watched as Bard winced at the volume, backing up and folding in on himself, as if he were the one left vulnerable and exposed after laying everything on the line for him. Thranduil did not feel sorry for him.

“There is nothing left here,” Thranduil continued, grabbing Legolas’ toys that he saw still strewn on the floor from his play time with Bain and Sigrid. He decided to not retrieve his own belongings, only looking for things that were important to his son. He needed to get out of here, before there was nothing left of his heart to salvage.

“I get it. You don’t l-love me.” It physically pained him to admit it out loud, to hear the words in the still air of the quiet house. He hadn’t known what it felt like to have a heart ripped from his chest until this very moment. “You can’t learn to love me. I’ll go.”

“Thran-“

“Don’t. Please just don’t. This is hard enough.”

Bard seemed to accept his defeat in that moment, slumping his shoulders and leaning against a wall, his head hung low in guilt and shame as Thranduil continued to gather Legolas’ things. The blond was keeping his head down as well, averting his gaze from the walls, scared that the pictures of their happy “family”- a terrible and heartbreaking sham- would cause him to lose his façade and burst into tears.

_No. Do not let him see you cry. Not now, not ever._

“I did love you, you know,” Bard said quietly, as if those words could make Thranduil feel anything but a stabbing feeling in his chest, as if those words made him feel any better. “I…I don’t know what happened, Thran. I’m sorry. But…But I did love you. I did not lie that night on the pier-“

“Don’t talk to me about the pier,” Thranduil hissed, his words dripping with venom as he tried valiantly to defend what was left of his poor heart. “It doesn’t matter now. The love is gone, and my love for you is now unrequited.”

He pushed past Bard, opening the front door to the house that had felt so very much like his own, running down the stone pathway with an armful of children’s toys as fast as he could to his awaiting car. He had to get out of here. He could feel himself breaking.

“Thran!”

Thranduil ignored him, fighting with his keys until he eventually got the car door open, flinging the toys in the empty passenger seat and quickly getting inside. He could hear Bard continue to call his name, but what else was there to say? There was nothing to be done. Bard didn’t love him anymore, and now Thranduil had to deal with that on his own.

He began to back up, tears spilling down his face now that he was in the privacy of his own vehicle. The radio was off, the only sound being his own pathetic whimpers and sobs. Thranduil hit the brakes before he could reach the end of the driveway, a school bus blocking his way as it let kids off of the bus. He glanced at the clock on his dashboard, sighing as he realized the children would be coming home from school at this time, though Legolas had soccer practice and wouldn’t be coming home for a while longer. Sure enough, Sigrid, Bain, and little Tilda waddled off the bus, Tilda’s eyes growing wide with excitement at seeing Thranduil’s car in the driveway. She ran to the car, and Thranduil wiped madly at his face, trying to hide his tears and the fact that he had just been uncontrollably sobbing just a moment ago. It wasn’t Tilda’s fault, after all, and Thranduil loved her so.

“Ada, Ada!” She yelled happily, jumping up to try to see into the car window as Thranduil rolled the window down so that they could talk.

“Hello, princess,” He said quietly, not trusting his voice to not break and crack. Tears began to well in his eyes as he looked upon her, all smiles and sunshine as usual. He loved her so, and he would miss her more than the moon and the stars.

“Why are you sad, Ada?” She frowned, little arms hanging from the window and letting her little feet dangle off the door. “Are you okay?”

“I am fine, darling,” He assured her, fighting with himself to will the tears back to obscurity. “I’m just… not feeling so well today. Ada has allergies.” Thranduil knew that she wouldn’t buy it, but Tilda nodded her head with a sweet smile, deciding to let it alone.

“Oh. Are you coming to my ballet show tomorrow?” 

“I….I don’t think so, Tilly.” The look on the little girl’s face at the news broke Thranduil’s heart all over again. Tilda was so excited for her ballet recital, talking about it nonstop during family dinners for the past month. Thranduil had promised to go, and had even helped her practice when he had found the time. But Thranduil was not part of this family any longer, and he had no right to attend that show.

“Why not?”

Thranduil was about to respond, when the sound of Tilda’s name being called interrupted him. Bard stood slumped against the door, his arms crossed in guilt and disdain. His voice was not angry as he called to her, but remorseful and sad. Bard had broken off a beautiful thing, and the break up would affect not only Thranduil, but the children as well. He had never felt worse.

“Tilda, come inside, darling.”

Thranduil was quiet for a moment, watching the exchange.

“I…I have to work late,” He lied, eyes welling up with tears again as he forced a smile onto his face. “I’m sorry, Tilly. Be…be a good girl for me and go see your Da, okay?”

“But I want to stay with you.”

“I know, darling but…but your Da…” His voice cracked and he cursed himself internally for breaking. Tilda wasn’t stupid, very far from it in fact, and she knew that something was very wrong. “Your Da is waiting for you, and I have to go. Go on, darling.”

“Okay…” Her voice was sad and unsure, confused as to why Thranduil was dismissing her so. Thranduil would not forget the disappointed look on her face that night when he lay in bed alone with nothing but his thoughts. 

She hopped down from the car, pushing curly brown hair from her face and squinting up at him, smiling in the sun.

“I love you, Ada.”

Tears rolled down his cheeks, but he smiled despite the ache in his chest. This was goodbye.  
“I love you too, Tilda.”

With that, the little girl ran off to join her father in the doorway, and Thranduil let a sob leave his chest as he backed out of that driveway for the final time, not looking back for fear it would ruin him. He had to stop several times on the way home, pulling over on the side of the highway because he couldn’t see through his tears.


	2. Chapter 2

_The cool breeze coming from the sea did little to diminish the warmth in both of their hearts as they walked hand in hand down the old boardwalk. The original sign from the 1950s had been restored and brought back, yellow and red lights proudly broadcasting the name of Haven’s Pier out into the darkening sky.  
_

_It was getting late, but the kids had a babysitter and this night was promised to be all about them. Thranduil couldn’t remember the last time he had a night for himself, and Bard was just happy to be sharing it with him, completely smitten with the man his hands were linked with. The blonde had a soft smile on his face, and a healthy glow on his cheeks that couldn’t be mistaken for anything other than pure admiration. The two of them had been spending an abundance of time together lately, both with and without their respective children. It had begun with play dates and trips to the playground, innocent trips for coffee and dog walking, and now they found themselves here, holding hands during a sunset on Haven’s Pier as if it was the most natural thing in the world.  
_

“Ada. Ada. Ada! Aaaaadaaaaa!”

Thranduil jumped slightly, pulling out of his reverie and blinking at his son, still in his little soccer uniform and now dangling from his father’s neck in an attempt to get his attention.

“Sorry, leaf,” He said quietly, pulling his arms around the child and bringing him close to his chest in an embrace. He forced a smile, despite the pain he felt in his chest as cold reality set in once more. Bard was gone. He didn’t love him anymore.

“How was your day at school?” Thranduil asked, placing a kiss to Legolas’ blond locks and swinging him onto his shoulder as the little boy shrieked and giggled with glee. Thranduil gave a small wave to Celeborn who was pulling out of the driveway, thankful that he had him to pick Legolas up from soccer practice on these nights. “Did practice go well?”

“Mhm,” Legolas squirmed, eventually settling down and playing with Thranduil’s long blond hair as they walked into the house. “I got a goal, Ada,” He said excitedly, smiling so wide that one could not help but notice his missing tooth (He was quite proud of it, and the Tooth Fairy had rewarded him handsomely). “And Celebrian did too!”

“That’s wonderful, leaf,” Thranduil said excitedly, any sadness that he had been feeling quickly washed away by happiness and pride for his son. It was impossible to feel sad when Legolas was around. When he was happy, Thranduil couldn’t help but smile, for his son was the light of his life, and his happiness was all that truly mattered to Thranduil. 

Setting Legolas’ book bag on the kitchen table, Thranduil gently sat the little boy down on a chair and moved over to the kitchen cupboards, looking to make a little snack for his son as a reward for his soccer achievement. Legolas hummed to himself as he watched his father, his little legs swinging on the chair, still too little to yet reach the floor.

“Ada?” He asked, tilting his head curiously and looking over at him with big blue eyes. “Can we go to Bard’s house after supper? I want to tell him about practice, and I want to show Bain the tricks I learned today!”

Thranduil was infinitely glad that his back was turned from his son as the child innocently asked of Bard and the children. He would not forgive himself if he allowed his son to see the pain and anguish written on his face- his son had already endured enough in his short little life. He eyed his slightly shaky hands, putting down the box of cookies and setting his hands flat on the granite counter-top.

“No, not tonight, Legolas,” He said softly, saying his words slowly, cautious to be sure that his voice did not waver or crack. Legolas had his mother’s wit, and he would pick up on a problem faster than Thranduil could handle at the moment. “It’s already late, and you still need to eat dinner, and wash up for school in the morning- Do you have homework?”

“No, I did my homework at lunch today.”

“Lunch? Why weren’t you outside playing with the others?” Thranduil quirked a brow, silently praying that the subject of Bard and his family were now out of the child’s mind for the evening. Trusting himself again while the subject had been changed, he put several cookies on a plate, setting it down on the kitchen table and going to the fridge to pour two glasses of milk.

“Oh…n-nothing…” Legolas was stuttering again, and Thranduil knew that his son only did that when he was nervous.

“Leaf,” Thranduil said sternly, though there was still a soft smile on his face as he sat down across from his son, sliding over a glass of milk and keeping the other for himself. “Tell me the truth.”  
“If I tell the truth, will you?”

Blue eyes met blue as Thranduil stared at his son in shock, his lips parted slightly, and a worried look in his eye. Of course Legolas would see that something was wrong. From the moment Thranduil had gotten home, up until he had heard Celeborn’s car in the driveway, Thranduil had been sobbing in the emptiness of his house, and it was not hard to tell. His cheeks were tear-stained, his eyes swollen and red. His hair was slightly disheveled, and his voice, though with Legolas it was still kind and endearing, was hoarse and scratchy from crying. Of course Legolas had seen right through him. The truth was imminent.

They sat there in silence for a moment, Legolas reaching over for a chocolate chip cookie but not yet placing it in his mouth. Their eyes remained locked, and Thranduil knew that Legolas had inherited his own stubbornness, and would not budge.

“…Alright,” Thranduil sighed, nodding his head. “I promise. Now why did you do your homework at lunch instead of playing with the other girls and boys?”

“Bolg.”

Thranduil scrunched up his face, racking his brain trying to put a face to the name. It took him a moment, but then he recognized him. Legolas had spoken to Thranduil about him before, and it had resulted in a call to the school and a special meeting with Thranduil and the principal.

“Legolas, is he still bothering you?”

“It’s okay, Ada,” Legolas said quietly, taking a small bite of his cookie and getting a bit of chocolate on the edges of his mouth. “He’s just a bully. It’s okay.”

“Legolas, no. That is not okay- It’s not okay at all!” Thranduil’s voice had risen slightly, but he willed himself to calm down. Between this, and the breakup, his emotions were most certainly on edge. “Did he hurt you? Leaf, tell me the truth.”

“No, but he told the other kids that if they played with me, then they would get beat up.” Legolas’ voice was small and sad, and he kicked his feet in the chair absentmindedly again. “No one will play with me anymore, so I did my spelling words while they all played tag.”

Thranduil sighed, bringing his hand to his forehead in frustration. “I am calling the school tomorrow. What he’s doing is not okay, Legolas. You have just as much right to play as everyone else. I’m going to get this fixed for you, okay?”

The little boy nodded, swiping blond hair from his face as he looked up at his father. He took the glass of milk in his little hands, holding on with both hands tightly so that it wouldn’t spill.  
“Now you tell me the truth.”

Thranduil bit his lip, trying hard to focus on not bursting into tears in front of a six year old, and trying to come up with a way to tell his son without making it hard on him. Legolas adored Bard, and the children, and this would be devastating. Besides, the poor kid already had a terrible day.

“Well…” Thranduil began, biting his lip hard to stop the small quivers that had begun. “B-Bard and I… We have decided that we would just like to be friends. You…you can still play with Sigrid and Bain and T-Tilly at school, and maybe someday soon they can come over to play, but Bard and I are just going to be friends now, like Uncle Celeborn and I.”

Legolas studied him hard, big blue eyes squinting at his father as he tried to analyze the situation. Had Thranduil not been so sad, he might have laughed, for the serious expression on the little boy’s face had been countered with a milk mustache. 

“But you love him,” Legolas said simply, the smile Thranduil so loved turning into a frown. “You told me you loved him, Ada, like how you loved Mommy.”

Thranduil’s eyes welled with tears, and despite his best efforts, a single drop rolled down his cheek. “I do, leaf,” He smiled sadly, quickly brushing the tear away. “But Bard just wants to be my friend. Sometimes grownups need to make… make difficult decisions, and this is one of them. Don’t worry, I am sad now, but I will be alright.”

Legolas’ frown transformed from one of pure sadness to one of sympathy, and he set his cup back on the table to run around to be at his father’s side. Little arms wrapped around Thranduil’s middle, and he could not stop the sob that came from his chest at his son’s kind gesture.

“Well I love you, Ada,” The little boy grinned, squeezing Thranduil as tightly as his little arms would allow. “I love you forever.”  
“And I love you, leaf,” Thranduil whispered, pulling his son up into his arms and burying his tear-streaked face into his shoulder. “Thank you.”


	3. Chapter 3

He could tell by the muffled sound of sniffling that Tilda was still on her bed crying. It had been several days since Bard had sat the children down at the dinner table and broke the news to them gently, and slowly their frustration and sadness over the breakup began to seep through the sad smiles that they had forced onto their faces.

Sigrid had been angry, raising her voice and saying terrible things that she would later come to Bard in the middle of the night to apologize for with a kiss and a hug. Bain had been quiet, spending his time reading books and not touching his toys that he and Legolas used to spend countless hours enjoying together. Tilda had cried, and continued to do so for days on end. She had a bond with Thranduil like no other, and it hurt Bard’s heart to think that his actions had been the cause of his daughter’s tears.

The large box in the middle of the living room floor was nearly overflowing with Thranduil’s belongings, sad memories seeping out of each item placed within. The walls seemed so bare now that the pictures with Legolas and Thranduil were taken down, and Bard had forgotten how large and stark his bedroom really was without Thranduil’s clothing and clutter. He found himself missing it.

What really confused and bothered him was that breaking things off with Thranduil had only made him feel worse. He had thought that what he had been feeling was a lack of love for the other man, but the emptiness and the dreaded feeling of loneliness creeping through his bones told a different story altogether. There was no relief, no solace in the fact that Thranduil was now free to find someone who “truly loved him”. Bard felt selfish when he felt the familiar feeling of jealousy as he thought of Thranduil with another. If he did not want him, he shouldn’t be wishing that no one else could either.

But Bard did want him. He thought of Thranduil every day, and his mind constantly went back to the moment when Bard said those four terrible, poisonous words, when Thranduil’s eyes, usually so bright and thriving, losing the light almost immediately, his entire world crashing down. Bard had tossed and turned in bed, kept awake at night to the horrible sound of Thranduil’s sobs, how his body shook as shock and sadness overtook him, how Bard had never seen him so broken up until that moment. But why did he care so much? If Bard truly did not love him…Oh no.

In a drunken stupor with far too much whiskey in his blood, Bard had called Thranduil, crying aimlessly into the phone while no one answered on the other end. He left countless voicemails, pleading for Thranduil to pick up, to call him back, to just do something so that Bard at least knew that he was still alive and breathing. He didn’t.

On the tenth day, Bard finally agreed to go to lunch with his friend, Bilbo Baggins. He was sitting enjoying his coffee after his meal, while Bilbo enjoyed seconds, and possibly thirds once his plate was empty, when the shorter man with curly hair finally asked the question that Bard was dreading.

“Do you love him?”

He set the coffee down, scared that his shaking hand would cause the hot liquid to spill all over himself, or worse, all over Bilbo.

“No- I mean, I…I don’t know.”

“If you don’t know, then you don’t,” Bilbo said matter-of-factually, sipping his tea and dipping a cookie into the glass. “If you love someone, you know. It’s a sure thing, Bard, surer than anything else. That’s how I know that I love Thorin.”

“Then I don’t love him,” Bard said sadly, staring into his coffee cup, his mind wandering momentarily to a memory of he and Thranduil at a local coffee shop, a hand entwined in his own as they sat across from each other at a too-small table.

_“Wouldn’t it be wonderful, Bard,” Thranduil giggled, using his free hand to sip at his cappuccino, licking his lips at the foam. “Just think- That house on the countryside is perfect. It’s big enough for all of us, and the kids would have a big yard to play in. Its got a huge garage which I know you would love, and I could have my garden.”_

_Bard stared back at him dreamily, feeling as though his mind were in a fog from staring at how happy and excited the other man was at the possibilities in front of them._

_“Yeah, baby,” He nodded, a wide grin on his face as he thought of waking up next to messy blond hair each day, of freshly cut flowers around the house, and of listening to Thranduil’s god-awful tacky music in the kitchen as they cooked family dinners. “That does sound perfect.”_

“Bard.” Bilbo stared at him in annoyance for a moment, saying his name louder. “You alright? You spaced out on me for a minute.”

“Yeah,” Bard grumbled, running a hand through his hair as he leaned back into the cushioned chair. “I just…I don’t know. I miss him, Bilbo. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want to love him. God, I wish that I loved him. What the hell is wrong with me, why can’t I love him? I just wanted to give him everything that he deserves… Hes amazing and perfect and everything good in this world and I…I cant love him.”

Bilbo was quiet for a long moment, staring at him disbelievingly before a long groan escaped his lips. His hands went up to rest on his temples, and he shook his head as he looked at the other man. “You are absolutely un-fucking-believable, Bard!”

“Shut up, Bilbo,” Bard snapped, crossing his arms. “I know, okay? I don’t want to be this way…”

“Bard, you clearly love him,” Bilbo said exasperated, pointing his finger in Bard’s direction. “Do you know what the problem is? You don’t remember what it’s like to be in love. You’re scared of it! You love Thranduil the same way that he loves you, and that’s why you’re feeling so shit now.”

Bard frowned, uncrossing his arms and tapping his fingers on the smooth wood of the table. “I do know what love is,” He said quietly. “I love my kids, and I loved Helen while she lived…I just haven’t felt that way in so long.”

“You’re scared,” Bilbo said again, his voice softer now as he anazlyzed his friend. “You’ve shoved all that emotion away for so long, that you decided to run when you felt it bubbling up again.”

“When the hell did you become a therapist, Baggins?” Bard sighed, giving him a sad smile. Maybe Bilbo was right, but all Bard knew for certain was that there was a gaping hole in his chest that only Thranduil could fill.


	4. Chapter 4

“Legolas, get your shoes on!” 

Thranduil sighed, straightening his tie in the hallway mirror as he heard the pitter patter of little feet running down the hardwood floor. It was only the second week back to school and they were still trying to get into the swing of things, and more often than not they had pulled into the school parking lot just as the classroom bell was ringing.

“I’m ready, Ada!” Legolas beamed, blowing blonde hair out of his face as he looked up at his father. Thranduil couldn’t help but smile despite his tiredness at his son’s bright grin, his little body nearly toppling over from the weight of his ninja-turtle book bag.

“No you’re not,” Thranduil said calmly, nudging over Legolas’ sneakers with his shoe. “Shoes on, please.” 

It was the first time this school year that Thranduil had driven his son to school in the morning, and it was the first time in a month that Thranduil had the energy to get out of bed and go to work. Sure, he was more or less just the figurehead of the company now, inheriting the firm from his father when he passed, but his presence, or rather lack of, was still highly noticeable and there was no doubt in his mind that a large stack of paperwork would be waiting for him on his desk. Life without Bard and the three children that he had come to love as his own, had proved incredible hard for him, and without Legolas, he doubted he would have been able to deal with it at all. Even now, though he was all smiles with his son and trying desperately to slip back into the norms of life, there was a deep hole in Thranduil’s heart that could not be filled by any other.

“Where is Uncle Celeborn?” The child inquired, slipping on his shoes and running out of the door that Thranduil was holding open for him.

“He’s taking Celebrian to school and you’ll see her when you get there. I thought I’d drop you off at school before I head off to work, like I used to. Would you rather him continue to drive you from now on? I’d hate to disrupt your day.”

Legolas stopped in his tracks, turning around quickly and hugging Thranduil’s knees tightly. “N-No, Ada!” He squeaked, looking up at him with big blue eyes and hanging from his father now. “I want you to drive me. I missed it.”

“Me too.” Thranduil smiled, moving his leg slightly and urging Legolas to let go of him and move towards the car.

“Tilda, stop moving back there!” Bard fumbled to put his coffee into his drink holder, glancing into his rearview mirror to see his littlest child with her arms outstretched to try to reach her brother who was ignoring her with his head in a comic book. He was just pulling into the school’s parking lot, which was a good thing too, far Bard quite liked his hair and he feared he was mere moments away from ripping it all out.

“Now, listen you three,” He said firmly, putting the car in park and turning in his seat to look at them all, bright eyed (besides Bain, who looked like he could roll over into bed at any given moment) and ready for the day. “I don’t want any calls from the school, do you hear me? I don’t care what another kid said, or if someone is causing trouble. Stay out of it, yeah? I know you all mean well but I can’t get another call at work telling me that I have to pick you guys up from the office. Deal?”

“Yes, Da,” They say in unison, with voices and smiles so sweet that Bard frowns, not buying it for an instant. Tilda looks out the window quickly, something seeming to catch her eye, and Bard nearly jumps out of his skin as she shrieks in glee, bouncing in her seat and hurrying to get the seatbelt off of herself.

“ADA!” She screams, causing Sigrid to quickly open her door as well, and even Bain lifted his head from his book with a smile. Bard, on the other hand, thought he might lose his breakfast. He stayed in the car, wishing that he could disappear as he watched all three of his children run to the man they had come to love. His heart ached at seeing Thranduil again, and ached even more so to see that he seemed so well put together. Bilbo had said that Thranduil was struggling, but his large grin and his crisp suit said otherwise. Bard knew Thranduil would be alright.

The blond was caught off guard by three children bounding towards him, school bags dropped on the ground and forgotten as they jumped onto him, hanging from his limbs and trapping him in a warm embrace. Legolas had joined in on the affections as well, and soon they were all cuddled together in the middle of the sidewalk, Thranduil stooped down so as not to ruin his suit.

“Ada, we miss you,” Tilda said quietly, burying her face in Thranduil’s chest and breathing in the comforting smell of her Ada, the scent that often helped her drift off to sleep when the nightmares got particularly bad. Sigrid had nodded at Tilda’s words, scooping Legolas up in her arms and hugging him impossibly tight. Thranduil only smiled, not knowing what to say to the children he still loved so very much. He couldn’t truly tell them how much he missed their strange and wonderful family, how his heart and his very body ached for things to be as they were. He couldn’t tell them that he felt empty inside, and things were very much not alright. He couldn’t say that, no.

“I miss you all very much,” He says softly, standing up and patting Tilda’s head gently. He wishes he could say more to them, ask them how they like their teachers, and how Tilda’s ballet recital had been. He knew, of course, that she must have been wonderful. He had cried the night of it, staring at the ticket that she had given him, his heart aching that he could not go and give her the reception that she deserved. Thranduil looked around, spying Bard’s car and looking away quickly, his stomach dropping, knowing Bard was in there, watching him. He tried not to think of his brown eyes.  
“The bell is going to ring soon,” He piped up, picking up their respective schoolbags and handing them to them. “You should all get going before you’re late. I doubt your Da would like that very much.”

Sigrid nodded, setting Legolas down and rustling his hair, before running off towards the school. Bain followed quickly behind her, and after a brief moment of just staring at him sadly, Tilda went off with a timid wave and a big smile. Thranduil bent down and kissed Legolas’ cheek, laughing lightly as little arms wrapped around his neck for a hug. Moments later, he was waving goodbye to a little boy in a flurry of blond hair, running as fast as his little legs, and his large backpack, would allow.

Thranduil watched his son with a small smile, waiting until he went into the school before turning around and heading back to his car. He tried not to think of Bard and his eyes, the fact that his car was still in that parking spot, not leaving once his children had gone inside. He tried not to let his mind believe that he was here for him. No, he doesn’t want you. He made that clear.

“Thranduil.”

His voice is raspy and deep as he remembers, and it causes Thranduil to fumble with his car keys, cursing quietly as they fell to the pavement. He can see the shadow of a man behind him, and it isn’t a moment later before he smells that familiar cologne…God, he misses it.

Bard smells like wood and earth and spice and it has always driven Thranduil mad with the fact that it both calms him but makes him wild. He turns, putting on his bravest face, but it all crumbles down as soon as he is face to face with the man who broke his heart- the man who broke his heart, and smiles.

“Hi, Thran.”

“Hello, Bard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I havent been writing lately. Im in a bit of a funk, but these cuties are helping me get out of it.


End file.
